Thursday, November 24, 2011

Giving up.

Case's surgery went well! He got the g-tube and nissen wrap. It lasted about 2 1/2 hours. He has been doing well. A little out of it. The medication makes him sleep. He will start formula in an hour. He had Pedilyte through the night. They are taking things slow so his tiny belly handles it well. But he is a real trooper! Looks like we may go home Saturday as long as all goes well!:)

Tuesday evening was rough. Yes, me "the strongest women in the world" has weak moments.;) It is hard for me to give up. I still like things to go as planned. I had no trouble with bringing Case for surgery and staying till he is recovered even if that meant spending Thanksgiving here because that was the plan. Well, when they brought Case to a double room not a private room I was a little bothered but his roommate was a quiet 3 year old with a nice family. Okay. I could handle that. New plan. No biggie. At about 11 pm plans changed again. That boy went home and they brought a noisy, needy baby with an obnoxious beeping mechine in and HIS mother had the nerve to complain about sharing a room. I immediately judged her. I started a downward spiral that usually ends in me being completely miserable, beside myself in torment. I had to make a choice. Fight for control or give God the control (which is harder said than done). At some point through the night I decided His way is better then mine. It's not comfortable being "out of my element" but the inside peace that comes with trusting Him is a beautiful feeling. :) Oh and by the way, the mother next to us just needs love.

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