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Showing posts from January, 2013

Just Enjoy the Show...

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Ready, set...stop thinking! I've been told I think too much several times, by several people. I'll play scenarios over and over in my head before they even happen. Maybe it's because I've got a lot going on... Selling a house, buying a house, Case, endless paper work, three other kids..etc., etc. Maybe it gives me the illusion that I have control of this crazy life of ours. I don't know why I do it but I know that it will surely kill me or send me to an insane asylum. This past month I've been determined to think less and pray more. To step back and "just enjoy the show." Sure, I can't just "give up" or stop caring for Case, the girls..etc. but I can and am (more and more) letting go of the millions of things that I have no control over.  When the thoughts take over and I feel helpless it's important to give them up. Out loud even, I surrender them to the One that "directs the show". Sometimes, I want my money back (lol) a

I am Trying to Understand How to Walk this Weary Land.

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Being a mom is tiring. Being a mom of four, with an overworked husband and a special needs, medically complex child is beyond exhausting. You have days of weariness before you even realize how weary you are. You fill out piles of paper work, call an endless amount of doctors, hold puke rags, give meds, order supplies and the list goes on. You thank God for your blessings but sometimes wonder if he has you mistaken for someone else, someone stronger. As you walk this weary land you gain strength, just before you break. You learn that "me time" is vital to your health even if it means locking yourself in the bathroom. You seek out others who get it, who also walk this weary land. You are dumbfounded by the out poor of love and kindness sometimes by people you've never met. You savor the cuddly moments, silly dances and coffee from friends. You try (hard) to take it moment by moment and tackle the problems and not focus on all the "what ifs". Sometimes you feel lik

...but it brings blessings bigger than my wildest dreams.

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Living this life is something I never dreamed of doing but it brings blessings bigger than my wildest dreams.... The days are long. The tasks are endless but the reward is priceless. Yes. I'm talking about the best job in the world. A parent of a Special Needs Child.. Read these lyrics and listen to this song. You will be blessed.  She's up at six a.m. to dress and feed him She helps him from the wheelchair to the van And drives the fifty miles to his appointment And the next day she will do it all again I asked her how she does it everyday How do you keep on going with such grace? And she said, "When those eyes are looking up at mine Every trial, every fear in that moment disappears And you realize that it's all worthwhile When it's your child." They haven't slept since 2007 Since the doctor placed that baby in their arms Daddy's working days and nights and on the weekends And you wonder how it's weighing on his heart I asked him how

Half-Brained Thoughts from a Special Needs Momma.

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Top ten thing's I've seriously considered doing when I'm low on sleep and patience. 10. Throwing Case's feeding pump out the window. Really. Some days that thing must beep hundreds of times. He's carrying it around constantly. It beeps when it's empty. It beeps when the tubes twist, kink or clog. It's an annoying, beautiful, life giving machine that I have a love-hate relationship with. 9.  Just driving. And driving. And driving. Alone. With the music blasting. I'd come back eventually but only once I'm well rested with a manicure. 8. Taking the 10+ (front and back) partially filled out papers asking me if my son is "still medically complex and if so to prove it", crumpling them up and leaving them on the doorstep of the office with his bottles of meds, tubes, pump, syringes, all his medical records and maybe some vomit with a note that reads, "Yes, he is still very much the same as he was the last time I did paper work to pr