A Very Special Case.

"At least it isn't Sepsis" I whispered to myself a half a dozen times this week when life wasn't going "as planed" and inconveniences popped up at almost every corner. It was one of those weeks where one annoying thing after another happened. A flat tire on Valentines day, A broken heater in the dead of winter, the dash of the car that's not in the garage lighting up like a Christmas tree just to name a few. 15 years ago when we were low on funds and even lower on life experience this week alone would be enough to send us to push us over the edge. Then life happened. We saw real chaos and heart break. We handed our son over for dozens of invasive surgeries including a full scull repair, multiple abdominal surgeries and even surgeries that days afterwards failed, split right at the seems. We've sat bedside during painful intestinal folding and even blockages that wreaked havoc on his gut and took months to heal. We've handed his unresponsive littl...

Oh, December I have a love-hate relationship with you. I love you because you’re December!  You sprinkle beautiful, white bliss all over the dread grass and bare trees. You bring comfort and joy! You host the holiday that I’ve loved since I was a child and love even more as a mother! You are beautiful and giving. You’re full of cookies and eggnog and all of my favorite foods. I LOVE that about you. But....I struggle with you. Every year, I struggle with you. You bring sadness and painful memories. You remind me of everything that was almost taken away from me. You remind me of how close I was to losing my son. You host memories of unbearable news and long, heart wrenching sonograms. You are the month that held the words, “prepare to bury  your child” and, “your baby’s body is broken. He just wasn’t wired right”. You hold lies. You remind me every year of the scary 24 hours before you marked our son's December 21st birthday. The 24 hours of breath holding, non-stress testing a...