Half-Brained Thoughts from a Special Needs Momma.

Top ten thing's I've seriously considered doing when I'm low on sleep and patience.

10. Throwing Case's feeding pump out the window. Really. Some days that thing must beep hundreds of
times. He's carrying it around constantly. It beeps when it's empty. It beeps when the tubes twist, kink or clog. It's an annoying, beautiful, life giving machine that I have a love-hate relationship with.

9.  Just driving. And driving. And driving. Alone. With the music blasting. I'd come back eventually but only once I'm well rested with a manicure.

8. Taking the 10+ (front and back) partially filled out papers asking me if my son is "still medically complex and if so to prove it", crumpling them up and leaving them on the doorstep of the office with his bottles of meds, tubes, pump, syringes, all his medical records and maybe some vomit with a note that reads, "Yes, he is still very much the same as he was the last time I did paper work to prove it".

7. Drinking a whole bottle of NyQuil and sleeping for a week.

6. Eating chocolate. All day long. Lots of it. Nothing else except maybe coffee. Make that a week. I'd like to eat pounds and pounds and pounds of chocolate while sitting in a hot bubble bath. No phone calls, no paper work, beeping pumps or vomiting 2 year olds just Mark Hoppus and Jason Mraz playing on repeat....

5. Going to the mall and cutting holes in half the zipper sleepers and leaving a note, "I made your sleepers feeding tube friendly. You're welcome."

4. Kissing all the tubed, trached and wheelchair bound babies/kids I see and telling them they are beautiful, important a blessing and I love them.

3. Putting a sign on my door that reads, "If you're selling me something, handing me a tract or asking for donations, don't knock. Just go away. I don't have money. I have Jesus and I only donate to sick children related charities".

2. Every time "Sally" from my son's health insurance's "Special Needs Department" calls to tell me she "Knows how I feel and is there to help but can't help get any benefits back for him that have been taken away." I seriously consider saying, "Yeah, 'Sally'? I don't believe you. Really, stop calling me."

1. Kidnapping a nurse who has OCD, a cleaning addiction and a love for paperwork and making her my personal assistant, forever and for free.

"Let's just go back to sleep and start this day over."