Just Enjoy the Show...

-
Ready, set...stop thinking!

I've been told I think too much several times, by several people. I'll play scenarios over and over in my head before they even happen. Maybe it's because I've got a lot going on... Selling a house, buying a house, Case, endless paper work, three other kids..etc., etc. Maybe it gives me the illusion that I have control of this crazy life of ours. I don't know why I do it but I know that it will surely kill me or send me to an insane asylum. This past month I've been determined to think less and pray more. To step back and "just enjoy the show." Sure, I can't just "give up" or stop caring for Case, the girls..etc. but I can and am (more and more) letting go of the millions of things that I have no control over.  When the thoughts take over and I feel helpless it's important to give them up. Out loud even, I surrender them to the One that "directs the show". Sometimes, I want my money back (lol) and think, "this is more than I bargained for!" but this is the life that was chosen for me and all I can do is go with the flow...(if need be) I'll know when to make a ripple but It's time to stop to over thinking and under trusting. I choose to give thanks in ALL circumstances for this is His will. Worry, anxiety, the need to control uncontrollable circumstances is a lack of trust. When I'm feeling that way, it's time to readjust my focus to the one who made me me and Case Case. For He knows the plans for us and they are good. He sees the big picture and has gone before me. It's time to just enjoy the show!



"I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
I don't know where to go I can't do it alone I've tried
And I don't know why

I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but I don't show it
I can't figure it out
It's bringing me down I know
I've got to let it goAnd just enjoy the show" 


Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.-1st Thssalonians 5:18

Deuteronomy 31:8

8 The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

About Case.

-
Image
Let me tell you all about the boy that is the inspiration behind A Very Special Family. Before Case was born we knew he was sick. During the routine "gender scan" ultrasound they found a "spot on his kidney and a spot on his heart." They referred us to a high risk OB about an hour away from our home. In order to not drive myself crazy, I decided to tell myself it was nothing in the days counting up to the appointment. It was something. It was a lot of things. I'll never forget that day, the day I heard the laundry list of birth defects, health problems and complications my sweet baby had. I remember my world starting to blur. That day, in the OB office right after I was told our baby was sick I don’t remember much but I remember hearing the word “Grace”. It was clear and unmistakable. At the time, I thought the baby was a girl and that was to be her middle name. Once we got home from that appointment, I looked up the word Grace. Blessing and
Read more

About Case.

-
Image
Case is our fourth child. He has 3 sisters. At 22 weeks pregnant I had a routine ultrasound. The tech seemed calm, ordinary. She said we were having another girl. We named her Parker. "She" was healthy. Typical. Fine. A week or two after that "normal" ultrasound we got a call. There was a spot on our "baby girl's" heart and one on "her" kidney. Not a big deal. At about 25 weeks of Pregnancy, We had a second level sonogram about an hour away from our home.  I was told our baby would be different. Very different. It's limbs were way behind in growth. It had heart problems, kidney problems, and was small. Very small. The doctor strongly suspected Down syndrome or Trisomy. He did an amnio. I cried. He told me this was not my fault. I was doing everything I could. The baby was just made different. Two and a half weeks later, I got a call. I was there, in that hotel. On a mini "getaway" with the family. The doctor called an
Read more

"This is not the end of the road."

-
Image
"This is not the end of the road. You don't want to see the end of the road...I have, and it's not pretty"-Dr. Ruldolf's response to me saying, "I just really feel like we are at the end of the road..." We're doing it (by we I mean Case). He's getting the GJ, this Friday. It's not the end of the road but the beginning of one. A new adventure. The GJ will help him grow. The food running straight into his intestines and bypassing his stomache means that it will absorb correctly. And if all goes well, the vomiting will cease, and Case will steadily and painlessly grow. This GJ will be put in at radiology while Case is awake. They will take the Mic-key button he has now out and put a new something (not sure what it is called) in. It will have 3 ports. One that feeds food to the stomache, one that feeds food to the intestines, and one to fill the balloon. If it gets ripped out, we can not put it back in. We will drive to Pittsburgh, and they will
Read more