The Best Job in the World.
I'm a special needs mom. I know what stomach juices drained right from the stomach smell like. I know how to change a feeding port right out of a belly. I've "slept" in firm backed chairs by hospital beds and told Dr.s they are wrong. I've witnessed the undeniable miracle of a baby that "won't" turning into a baby that does and does again. I've seen pain, I've planned goodbyes and thanked God they were only plans..... All of these things and many more are things I never imagined I would do. Frankly, if you would have told me this is what life held 10 years ago....I would have run for the hills. There is no way to know until you experience it the unexplainable blessings and deep joy being a mom of a miracle can really bring.
This job is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes it feels like a deep, lonely pit. One that just goes deeper with no end in sight.....Honestly, even though we are approaching year number 3 it sometimes still feels like the "newborn" stage. You know, the beautiful first couple months where you aren't sleeping, showering or thinking clear thoughts. During those months you hold your beautiful baby and hold on to the hope that "this too shall pass" and someday your child will be grown, independent and not needing much more than hugs, food and warmth. For us special mommas, we don't know if or when that will ever happen. We don't know if our children will ever not need feeding tubes and full time care. It's a hard reality to not know what your child's future holds. All you can do is hold on, drink coffee and continually remind your self that strength comes along the journey. I know that I was picked for a very special reason and that I do indeed have the best job in the world!
" Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain."
"Colossians 3:23-24 Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward. You are serving the Lord Christ."