A Very Special Case.

  It's true, through the darkness and the trials. At the hospital and home, He will be with me always because I am loved and I am valued. In a world of medical. When it seems all I do is make phone calls, shuffle paper work and travel to specialists because my child is special, it's easy to lose myself. My mind frequently spins with the last medical info or the dread of the upcoming test/hospital stay/procedure.  It's a burden that is heavy and constantly reminds me that there is no end in sight....but then I remember, I am loved. I am valued and I matter. I remember when I carried my miracle who's insides and outsides were being formed intricately and uniquely He was whispering His promises into my heart. That this is a beautiful, blessed and different journey. That we'll always and forever be okay because even though our future is uncertain He will always have His arms wrapped tight around us. He's always close by to hand the ever looming anxiety and fear...

Beautiful YOU! Dear Case, Happy three years! What a wild ride it's been. Thank you for being YOU! Bright, bold, beautiful YOU. You're different from the rest. You're insides , your outsides, your heart and your soul, I wouldn't change one tiny thing about you. I've loved everything about these crazy 3 years. I've loved the good, I've loved the bad, the chaotic and the sad. I've loved it all because it's all part of who you are and what we've become. We are different. We love more, we yell less....all because of you. You are so beautiful. Case, I'm so thankful you were born just the way you are. I love your spirit, I love your smile, you'd crooked fingers and tiny toes. I can't believe all you've endured in 3 short years, all of the pokes, all of the tests, the surgeries, the nights at the hospital but through it all, you still smile so bright. You are my inspiration and I still remember the first time I saw you. I remembe...

I Love the Way you Hold Me.  Sometimes we just need held. Sometimes we just need to give up, look at the few steps in front of us and just trust. We need to TRUST that He will ALWAYS be near. When the world runs us ragged and we can't see the light at the end of the tunnel we need to stop letting the busy control us and just be held. We need to remember that there is always someone (many) with a harder battle and when we feel too tired to take one more step...... We need to stop and pray. Pray for those hurting. Pray for those breathing their last breaths. Pray that we will never, never take our breaths for granted. Pray that we can see the blessings in the busy., in the "not fair". That we will never be to busy, too selfish to appreciate God's grace in this crazy place. We are blessed. We are valued. We are loved. Above all else, HE will NEVER leave us or forsake us. Never.   "I love, I love, I love, I love the way you hold me I love, I lo...

The Best Job in the World.  I'm a special needs mom. I know what stomach juices drained right from the stomach smell like. I know how to change a feeding port right out of a belly. I've "slept" in firm backed chairs by hospital beds and told Dr.s they are wrong. I've witnessed the undeniable miracle of a baby that "won't" turning into a baby that does and does again. I've seen pain, I've planned goodbyes and thanked God they were only plans..... All of these things and many more are things I never imagined  I would do. Frankly, if you would have told me this is what life held 10 years ago....I would have run for the hills. There is no way to know until you experience it the unexplainable blessings and deep joy being a mom of a miracle can really bring.  This job is not for the faint of heart. Sometimes it feels like a deep, lonely pit. One that just goes deeper with no end in sight.....Honestly, even though we are approaching year numb...