Thursday, May 23, 2013

Until death do us part.

I've read over and over again about the high divorce rate in parents of special needs/medically fragile children. 75% or 3 out of 4 married couples with medically compromised/special needs, etc. children get divorced. Yes, 3 out of four meaning there is only a 25% chance Dan and I will stay married through the storms of this life we've been chosen for. Being married is hard. Being married in stressful circumstances is harder...When we said our vows, we said we'd love and cherish each other "until death do us part". We didn't know the storms that would be ahead but we committed to each other for better or worse, for richer or for poorer.... We decided we'd always be together and together we are. I'm not saying it's easy raising kids together. It's not, it's hard. Add medical bills, surgeries, long hospital stays, negative bank account balances and all the other "goodies" a miracle like Case brings and some days you wonder how you're doing it... You don't always see eye to eye and sometimes (most of the time) you have to swallow you're pride and decide love is better than hate. Humility beats pride and joy is better than justice. I'm not saying we are better than the divorced couples because "we stayed together and you didn't". I'm saying we're lucky and blessed to have found each other because our weaknesses balance out our strengths. We're fighters and we're stubborn. We each try to give 100% because usually the other can't. We know if we only give 50% to our marriage one of us will fall short...We're in this together and we make mistakes everyday but we're together for a reason and by God's grace our 9 1/2 years of marriage will someday be 60 and we'll know that no matter how hard it's been or how many times we almost gave up, God was still be behind us holding us up and whispering, "Forgive for I have forgiven you..." Thank God for forgiveness and for helping us prove statistics wrong...


1 comment:

  1. we have a medically fragile very brain damaged child who is now almost 5 years old. (we also have 5 other children, 3 older and 2 younger)
    during the worst of our son's medical issues we drew closer to Jesus and to eachother clinging to eachother with all we had in us. we made it thru that tough time and our marriage grew stronger every step of the way.

    i think that in many marriages the husband and wife tend to blame eachother for the added stress of a disabled child, and that rips family apart.

    thank you for your post. i will keep you in our prayers as you struggle thru the hard times.