I. Am. Out. Of. Control.

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It's true. I am out of control. I had no control over how Case was made. I ate the right foods (ice creams good for unborn babies, right?). I took my vitamins. Drank lots of water. I didn't do drugs, smoke or drink. I rested a lot and still Case was made different. He was born with "defects". A child that would have possibly been medically aborted if he was in a different belly. All that to say he was made the way God made him for a reason and I was out of control. Even now I can't control how things go. I can't make him eat and have been having a hell of a time making him grow. Sometimes I get a real wake up call as to how our of control I really am. A week or so ago I realized Case's medical card stooped and he was thrown into an HMO by "random selection" (WTF, right?). Long story short by the time I realized what was going on it was "too late to change his HMO for July" and the HMO I picked wouldn't go into effect until August. No big deal, right? WRONG! The HMO they "picked" doesn't cover Pittsburgh Children's or Chartwell (his feeding supply company). Oh. My. God. I flipped the freak out. I cried, or more like sobbed. What about his upcoming surgery? Or emergency care? What if he pulls his GJ out? Why me?! "Well, you just need to pick another hospital." Says the rep. from CoventryCares (his sucktastic HMO). Uh, dude...this isn't a dentist or a chiropractor. This is THE hospital that my special needs child NEEDS to go to. Cheese and rice this guy really irked me. After a million phone calls I talked to a lady that said said she is going to get him"expedited" out of this HMO (cause I'm gonna tell ya, so far Coventry-doesn't-care) and get him into the HMO of my choice. Easy enough? Not really. That was 11 days ago and he's still in this HMO. We've talked and she's working on it. The good news is, if there is an emergency I was told "CoventryCares" will go out of network. Bad news is his feeding supply company isn't covered and his surgery may need rescheduled. Long story short. I need to let go and let God. Worrying is a waist of time and quite frankly exhausting. This is not my baby. He has a bigger purpose and by golly if what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, either Coventry"cares" will be the death of me or I'll be pretty damn strong!!

"Insurance problems? What-evs. I'd rather swing then worry."-Case
:)

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