“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” ~ Khalil Gibran
Hard to think of Case as a massive character. But he is.
He's had some rough nights lately. I would wake up to him screaming and sometimes retching. Case can't vomit because of the Nissen wrap.
RETCH: noun: an involuntary spasm of ineffectual vomiting; "a bad case of the heaves"
It's no fun. He was having a hard time tolerating his night feeds. He wouldn't eat much during the day causing me to run 10-11 hour feeds at his max of 39 mls (a little over an ounce) per hour. On top of that his pump broke at some point and was putting extra into him. It was only a few extra mls per hour but was not good. We got his pump replaced which lessened the times he was waking to retch but he still couldn't handle the long feeds at max volume. Sometimes the retching would get so bad, I would open his stomach tube and let him "vomit" out of the tube. Gross, I know but it was necessary to release the pressure on his tiny belly. This all was very difficult for me. It's hard enough to have your child vomiting night after night but in a way this was harder. It only took one night of retching after the pump was replaced for me to call his surgeon. I left a message and got a prompt return phone call from the surgeon himself. I love Dr. Scholz. He is an exceptional doctor and has general care for Case. I told the doctor we were having problems and asked if he thought bolus feeding Case whatever Pediasure he doesn't take during a feeding was a good idea. He said yes. Bolus feeding is when I connect Case to a short tube (about a foot and a half long) with a syringe attached to the top. I pour Pediasure into the (open) syringe and hold it for 10-20 minutes until all the Pediasure has entered his belly. This is wonderful. It allows Case to get the appropriate amount of Pediasure during the day so I can run shorter feeds with less mls at night. It really takes the pressure off of me and so far the retching hasn't occurred (through the night) .I do find myself worrying sometimes about dumb things like, "What if he always has the Mic-Key button in?" or "What if he stops eating by mouth altogether?". Worrying has never bought any good, only harm. It steals my peace. I don't know what the future holds for Case physically but know that Jesus does and only wants the best for His sweet baby.
Philippians 4:7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
“Do not fret—it only causes harm.” Psalm 37:8b
|1st Thessalonians 5:18|
Case's nurse Jenny still comes to our house twice a week to check him out and get his weight. She is fabulous.:)