I'm a Terrible Soccer Mom

It’s true. I am a terrible soccer mom. I don’t like the bugs and the porta potties. I dread spending a good part of the evening or Saturday morning sitting in a muddy field listening to my kids whine that they are hungry and bored when all I really want to do is put my sweatpants on and drink wine on my couch.

I’ve successfully avoided volunteering for the mandatory confession stand job for an embarrassing amount of time. And worst of all....I’ve MISSED games do to work and (usually) don’t feel guilty about it.

Okay...before you start thinking I’m a terrible mom (too late?) let me explain...I love my kids. I love them so much my heart could EXPLODE. They are smart and funny. They are kind, considerate and helpful. And mostly, I really enjoy spending time with them and even though I’m a terrible soccer mom, I love watching them improve each season. I love watching their faces when they try to pretend they aren’t over the moon excited about the goal they just scored or the assist they just successfully made. I love when they do something awesome on the field and look directly at me as if their eyes are saying, “Holy crap! Mom! Did you see that?!”

Here’s the thing, we live in a society where moms aren’t only expected to do everything (work, volunteer at school parties, make Pinterest perfect birthday snacks and host Birthday parties the neighborhood moms are jealous of) but often shamed if they don’t. Let me tell you a secret….we can’t do it all AND we don’t have to. I’ll never forget they day I drove my then 4 year old, Lainey to preschool with a puking, tube fed toddler in the seat beside her. It was barely 9am and I already felt done. When we showed up I realized it was Christmas party day. Not only did I completely forget to bring a snack and goodie bags for her to pass out but when I started looking at all the little girls dawned in red and green dresses and bows I realized she had her thanksgiving dress on. The one with leaves plastered all over it in bright fall colors. My heart literally sank. I stood there fighting back hot tears. “How could I fail her like this? How does everyone else make this look easy? Careers, kids, sports AND they remembered it was Christmas party day!” That was a good 6 years ago and it sticks fresh in my mind like a recent occurrence.

This is not okay. It’s not okay how I immediately started comparing my self to moms I barely knew and how terrible I let those mostly made up comparisons make me feel. We need to stop telling ourselves we aren’t good enough. We need to give ourselves a little grace!!! I can’t make it to every game my kids play. I stoped volunteering for their school parties when it started causing fights between them (“No! I want mom at my party!”) and started making me feel super stressed trying to figure out how to schedule work around them. Oh, and I’ve erased the Pinterest app on my phone (not really....but I mostly only use it to look up browning recipes I’ll never make and browse inspirational quotes). What I now do is stop by to have lunch with them when I have free time, make it to every concert, Halloween parade and Stem night I can. Instead of signing up to be at the Valentines Day Party or the spring food drive donate snacks and buy all the pop tarts off the shelf (you’d be surprised at how happy taking boxes of Pop Tarts in to “help feed the kids that don’t have a lot” males my 2nd grader smile).

Does confessing all of this make me a bad mom? No. Does having a career, being a stay at home mom, forgetting dentist appointments or feeding your kids chicken nuggets for the third day make you a bad mom? No. You do you and if working late to provide for your family while loving what you do means you miss a soccer game, oh well. Your kid is going to be OK. Better than okay even. They will see your love, your dedication and your work ethic and maybe they will parent completely differently than you. That’s okay too because every family needs to function in a way that the WHOLE family benefits, thrives and grows.

I’m a terrible soccer mom and that okay.