Sunday, July 28, 2013

"Be thankful in ALL circumstances.."

Almost 3 years ago my life changed. I stepped into a world that was no longer comfortable. A world that can't be fixed by a prayer. Where asking for healing doesn't always mean the pain or the sickness goes away....It was in September, 2010 when I saw a perfectly beautiful unborn baby full of deformities and disease before he even took his first breath. I was told over and over and over again that my perfect baby was made wrong. That the child inside of me was deformed and incomparable with life...(I hate those words "incompatible with life", they make my stomach turn...I don't think they should be formed into a sentence....If a child is born alive then that alone is a child "compatible" with life.....Right?!) During the days leading up to the birth of Case I belonged to a "high risk pregnancy" board online. I read a post of a young mother who aborted her daughter because the Dr.s told her of the horrible things this girl was up against....they painted a picture very similar to the one that was painted of Case..."Probably has Trisomy 18, fused fingers, deformed feet, severe growth retardation, heart disease, kidney disease and on and on...."She made the choice to terminate and I did not. I do not blame her..We live in a world different from our parents and grandparents where we can easily end the lives of unborn children but.... this is not what this post is about. I am indeed pro-life but I do not judge those who are pro choice and I do not wish to defend my "pro-life" status. I am however, thankful that I chose life and that life has changed me. Saved me even,  from walking around in a world of safety and health. Case has shown me Grace in a fallen world. He is different than I ever could have imagined my 4th child to be and before his birth I believed prayers made sickness and disease go away if we believed enough and that we were usually guaranteed tomorrow. I never knew the joys of disability and challenge...."Be thankful in ALL circumstances..." is one of several verses I held onto in some of my darkest days. I knew deep in my heart that whether or not Case lived or died, he would be alright and so would I as long as I cling to the promises of God forever...Promises of life not death, joy not sorrow and peace in all circumstances. Peace that passes ALL understanding.... I do, honestly struggle with fearing the worse and worrying about tomorrow because I have been plunged into a world where tomorrow is often taken in childhood and where "ow" is a first world but it's during those days I need to remember that I am beautifully blessed with a different kind of life.<3 

"Don't be afraid to let your feelings show
If we dry up, then we won't grow"

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus-1 Thessalonians 5:18

"I don't know what you're doing...but I know WHO you are."



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  2. I love your page and enjoy seeing Case smile. He is a treasure! He has touched my heart!